Author Elizabeth Gilbert of “Eat, Pray, Love” fame recently published a new memoir about her recovery in S.L.A.A. in which she names and, very publicly, endorses and guides the reader through her recovery journey. One of our members contacted F.W.S. about this because her women’s meeting, one week after the book was released, saw 15 new women show up — and the group continues to grow.
How might S.L.A.A. members and groups reconcile the immediate benefit of this publicity against the guidelines of the Twelve Traditions?
Response #1:
Both the 12 Traditions and 12 Recommended Guidelines for dealing with the media suggest they are not reconcilable. Tradition 11 states that “our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion”. And Guideline 4 states: “Any unilateral action, by any S.L.A.A. member acting on his/her own, to place S.L.A.A. before the public media, at any level is expressly discouraged.” That implies that SLAA ought to avoid sensational advertising and does not court publicity.
Tradition 11 also states that “we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, film, and other public media.” In SLAA personal anonymity is the key feature of outreach in which we let the public know that S.L.A.A. exists and can help. We are collectively guardians of each other’s anonymity, as without anonymity, newcomers might be afraid to come to a meeting or to come back.
Response #2:
The question posed touches on several of S.L.A.A.’s Traditions. Tradition 5 reminds us that our primary purpose is to carry the message of S.L.A.A. Ms. Gilbert’s writing has made readers aware of the existence of S.L.A.A., allowing addicts who are suffering to find their way into the rooms.
Additionally, her willingness to be candid about her life as an active addict may work to counter the stigma that exists towards sex and love addiction and those who identify as sex and love addicts. These are beneficial results of her writing.
However, choosing to break her personal anonymity in her book clearly violates Tradition 11. While this may have led to the positive outcomes of bringing awareness to the program and working to counter stigma, it opens the program up to people making erroneous judgments that Ms. Gilbert’s experiences in S.L.A.A. are representative of the program as a whole. If she were to go on to relapse, outsiders may then think that S.L.A.A. is an ineffective program. Additionally, Ms. Gilbert broke her personal anonymity for financial gain, as she did have the option to publish her book anonymously. One might assume that she did not because it would have been less lucrative to do so. Regardless, Ms. Gilbert’s declaring her membership in S.L.A.A. publicly may lead others in the program to believe that maintaining personal anonymity is not truly that important, when in fact, it is. Members can discuss in meetings that the importance of remaining anonymous goes far beyond personal comfort with others knowing we are members of this fellowship.
Members of the fellowship can mitigate some of the effects of these by making sure to adhere to Step 6, taking special care never to endorse Ms. Gilbert or her book as an “outside enterprise or personality.” Members should speak up if they hear anyone presenting her book as official S.L.A.A. guidance, even if they find it resonates personally. Within meetings, members can remind newcomers that S.L.A.A. literature is the fellowship’s guiding resource, while also respecting that people often arrive through many different doorways.
Finally, Tradition 12 reminds us to keep our spiritual principles before personalities, no matter how amplified or compelling. As a program, we have a higher power, and it is not another human being.
Response #3:
As the question points out, Elizabeth Gilbert’s book brought in 15 new women almost right away, which is a powerful reminder of Step 12 and Tradition 5 — to carry the message to those still suffering. That part is wonderful to see. At the same time, it raises concerns regarding Traditions 6, 10, 11, and 12.
The gift of newcomers showing up is real and meaningful. But it’s also important to remember that SLAA itself didn’t — and shouldn’t — go looking for this kind of publicity. Our part, as members and groups, is to welcome those who arrive, while keeping in mind the guardrails the Traditions give us about formal endorsements, alignment with outside enterprises, public identification, and personal identities.
Tradition 6 (Endorsements & Outside Enterprises): Gilbert’s memoir is an outside enterprise. By publicly naming SLAA, it could appear that SLAA is endorsing her or that she is endorsing SLAA. This risks entangling SLAA’s name with her book, reputation, and commercial interests.
Tradition 10 (Outside Issues): Because she’s a well-known public figure, Gilbert attracts opinions about who she is and what she writes. If SLAA’s name is drawn into that, the fellowship risks being pulled into public controversy — exactly what Tradition 10 warns us against.
Tradition 11 (Anonymity at the Public Level): By identifying herself as a member and naming SLAA, Gilbert breaks the safeguard of anonymity at the public level. This can undermine SLAA’s “attraction rather than promotion” approach and risks confusing the public by equating her personality with the fellowship as a whole.
Tradition 12 (Principles Before Personalities): With attention on her or the book, the focus risks moving from the principles of SLAA to the personality of one member. While her experience may inspire, we’re reminded that the fellowship works best when no single person becomes its public face.
Response #4:
I would like to respond to this question by first saying that the Traditions are guides, there are no musts, laws or program sanctioned punishments. Only suggestions, principles with which each carries its own inherent consequences.
I agree with the intentions of founders of the 12 Step Programs and 12 Traditions expressed in their writings and principles. The 2nd and 4th Tradition I believe address the concept of violating Traditions, though their approach of focusing on one ultimate authority expressing itself through the inherent consequences of such actions rather than explicit reprimands. That while groups have the “right to be wrong,” the ultimate “penalty for enough deviation is acting on addictive behaviors, and the penalty for that is insanity or death,” a natural corrective mechanism to prevent the program’s dilution.
The goal to be free of the yoke of addiction is autonomy of the individual and individual groups, and always they are responsible only to their own conscience. However, this freedom is not without consequences. This is ‘the right to be wrong.’ To make our own mistakes. Not to be shielded but, be open to the resulting failure as an opportunity to achieve recovery serves as a powerful deterrent. The natural outcome of deviating from the principles of recovery (acting out on addictive patterns along with their consequences) has been sufficient correction without outside authority.
Of the 11th and 12th Traditions on anonymity, violating it at the defined public level is a clear breach, though the individual still has the personal freedom to choose their level of anonymity publicly along with privately. The collective experience has been to address violations by allowing for the possibility of deviation but also underscoring the inherent consequences of such actions for individuals and groups. I believe the core idea as that of the principles of recovery themselves would act as the natural corrective force, rather than direct enforcement by the trusted servants or a central authority.
Two of my truths as an addict are I am powerless over and have unhealthy co-dependances regarding people, places and things.
Response #5:
What the author has written in her book is not in our control, and what we as individuals think about is up to each of us. How we deal with the subject of the author or her book coming up in SLAA spaces should be grounded in our Traditions. I see possible issues arising in members quoting or paraphrasing the author or from the book, or choosing to follow perceived guidance from the author’s experiences. Our Traditions tell us that “each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the sex and love addict who still suffers.” Our message is set forth in conference approved SLAA literature, not outside literature, no matter how compelling. I would recommend that members gently remind those bringing up the book and the author of that tradition. As far as following the author’s advice, Tradition Two reminds us that “there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as this Power may be expressed through our group conscience.” We can respectfully remind members that the author is not an authority, and that her words are meant to be a testimony to her own lived experience, not a guidebook.
