The following questions are designed to be used as guidelines to identifying possible signposts of sex and love addiction. Only you can decide if S.L.A.A. is right for you.
A sponsor is someone who has found sobriety from their addictive behaviors and gives us individual support and guidance in applying the S.L.A.A. Twelve Step program of recovery to our lives.
Many terms are used during S.L.A.A. meetings that may be unfamiliar. While some terms are used differently by various meetings, we provide basic definitions to help you get aquainted.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, or S.L.A.A., is a program for anyone who suffers from an addictive compulsion to engage in or avoid sex, love, or emotional attachment. We use the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous to recover from these compulsions. We are united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior. We find a common denominator in our obsessive/compulsive patterns, which transcends any personal differences of sexual orientation or gender identity. The following behaviors have been experienced by members.
- Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to people without knowing them.
- Fearing abandonment and loneliness , we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships….
- We confuse love with neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity and/or the need to rescue or be rescued.
- We sexualize stress, guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear and envy.….
- To avoid feeling vulnerable, we may retreat from all intimate involvement,…Excerpts from the Twelve Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction ©1985
You may be experiencing one or all of these characteristics, but only you can decide for sure if S.L.A.A. is right for you. To help you make this decision, it is suggested that you complete the 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis. If you answer yes to any combination of these questions and think you may be struggling with sex and love addiction, you are welcome in S.L.A.A.
You have already taken a big step in seeking information about the program of S.L.A.A. If you believe this program is for you, the next thing to do is find out if there is a meeting in your area. Gathering with other sex and love addicts at an S.L.A.A. meeting is the primary way we learn how to get sober and maintain recovery. There are no dues, fees, or registration process to attend a meeting, only voluntary contributions. By giving and receiving support from others like us, we not only have a better chance of recovering, but we also begin to learn how to engage with people in a non-addictive way.
An essential piece of literature to help you start and stay with the program is the S.L.A.A. Basic Text. This book contains information about discovering the illness, beginning recovery, defining sobriety, the Twelve Steps of S.L.A.A. and contains personal stories of others who have gone from addiction to recovery. There are also pamphlets that can be of great help. These include the Welcome pamphlet, An Introduction to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Suggestions for Newcomers, Questions Beginners Ask, and Addiction and Recovery.
The Twelve Step program of S.L.A.A. has helped many of us break free from the grip of sex and love addiction. You Are Not Alone.