Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.)

Fellowship-Wide Services (F.W.S.)

17 Words you Might Hear in an S.L.A.A. Meeting

Excerpted from the Welcome Pamphlet
©1997 The Augustine Fellowship, S.L.A.A., Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.  All rights reserved.

Many different terms are used during S.L.A.A. meetings.  While many terms are used differently in various S.L.A.A. Groups, we will attempt to define a few of these terms as commonly used in S.L.A.A.

Abstinence #

A change in our behavior that involves stopping the addictive pattern – one day, sometimes one minute, at a time. Abstinence is a beginning point in sobriety.

Acting Out #

To engage in addictive behavior.  Engaging in a behavior which is one’s bottom line, is often referred to as having a slip.

Anorexia #

The compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual, or emotional nourishment.

Bottom-Line Behaviors #

Generally, self-defined activities which we refrain from in order to experience our physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual wholeness.

Boundaries #

Self-defined, self-protective limits we use for interaction with persons, places, things, or activities.

Cross-talk #

Sometimes known as “feedback”. To respond directly or indirectly to what someone has shared in a meeting; for example, to offer someone answers to his or her problems, or to engage in dialogue during the meeting.

Group Conscience #

A process of decision-making by the group.  S.L.A.A. encourages all members to express their views.

Inventory or “Moral” Inventory #

A list of qualities within a person, both positive and negative, discovered through self-examination. Also to take someone else’s inventory: to judge another person’s life or sobriety.

Isolation #

To withdraw from the help and healing process of others, program support, or our Higher Power.  Isolation often leads to or accompanies a slip. Isolation may also be a form of acting out for anorectic members.

S.L.A.A. Member #

Any S.L.A.A. participant who has a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction.

Sobriety #

Initially, a state of abstinence from addictive bottom-line behaviors; often accompanied by the return of sanity, choice, and personal dignity that comes from abstaining from bottom-line behaviors.

Sobriety Date #

Generally, the date we stop engaging in our bottom-line behaviors.

Sponsor #

A person who works closely with another member to provide individual support and guidance in applying the S.L.A.A. Twelve Step/Twelve Tradition program.  A sponsor should be a person we are not in danger of acting out with, nor are likely to find intrigue with.

Trigger #

A person, place, thing, or environment that sets off an urge to act out.

Withdrawal #

The physical, mental, emotional, and often spiritual upheaval which generally accompanies the break in our addictive pattern.

13th-Stepping #

Manipulating another person in recovery, especially a newcomer, into a sexual, emotional, or romantic relationship.

Open or Closed Meeting? #

S.L.A.A. members highly value our tradition of anonymity. Group conscience determines whether a meeting shall be open or closed. In general, the following guidelines are used:

Open Meeting

       A meeting open to anyone who wishes to attend, no matter their reason.

Closed Meeting

     A meeting open only to those seeking help for sex and love addiction.

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